As connected as the internet allows us to be, it’s amazing how all the worries and responsibilities of the world can still make us feel so isolated.

It’s true that we’re all individuals, and that we’re all facing our own battles, but when we’re able to look past our own issues, we see that everyone around us is going through something similar. Granted, acknowledging that other people are struggling doesn’t always solve our own problems, but knowing our problems are not uncommon, seeing that others are also doing what they can to keep things together, can be validating in its own way.

With that in mind, I wanted to share a few problems I’ve been struggling with, as well as some of the ways I’m trying to handle them.

Dreams about Losing your Children

The very notion of losing track of our children is incredibly distressing, which is what makes nightmares of such scenarios so terrifying. No matter how many possible precautions we take during the day, our bad dreams deny us any sense of control, leaving us to frantically and fruitlessly search through figments of our imagination.

I’d like to say “rest assured, every parent experiences this at least once” but being a parent already removes any assurance of rest to begin with. Indeed, sleep deprivation can itself exacerbate these nightmares, which in turn makes getting actual rest or recuperation even more difficult, creating a rather vicious cycle.

I thought I had overcome these fears with my first child, but they came back after my second was born. There’ve been several nights where I woke up in a cold sweat at an ungodly hour, panicking over the whereabouts of my precious babies, and in one case I wasn’t even in bed anymore. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but a few weeks ago my husband caught me looking under the bed for our baby, the fear from my dream having driven me to sleepwalk. The baby had been sick for a while at the time, and tending to him hadn’t left me much time to rest, so it would seem my overflowing concern overpowered my delirious mind and took control of my unconscious body.

These incidents can be upsetting and unsettling, but they can also be managed. Try to find whatever rest you can whenever you can, be mindful of what you eat or what medication you take before bed, and express your feelings with those you trust. This won’t necessarily stop the dreams, but it may slow the rate at which they occur.

Concern Over Teaching the Wrong Lessons

They say that actions speak louder than words, and that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, which is why children can easily pick up on our bad habits if we’re not careful. Young children absorb everything around them, even if they don’t understand the context behind it, so you’ll likely catch them performing actions or repeating phrases they’ve been exposed to. Sometimes this can be adorable, and should be encouraged to help them learn. In other cases, it should be corrected right away, otherwise it can impact their development.

As an example, my two year old has taken notice of how hardworking I am, and has begun demonstrating her own versions of some of the behaviors she’s seen. As the head of several startups, I have a very busy and sprawling schedule, so I’m often talking on the phone while working on my computer. My daughter has begun to follow suite, speaking into a toy phone and pretending to type on a plastic laptop. It was cute at first, but when we tried playing along with her, she asked not to be disturbed. This was quite eye-opening for me, and while the fact remains that I am a busy woman, I’ve begun making it a point to take breaks when she is around and engage her in playtime.

Teaching your children responsibility and work ethic is important for their professional futures, but showing them social skills and the ability to find their own satisfaction is critical to help them become a functioning human being. Your children will pay attention to you even if you don’t pay attention to them, so be wary of what they see and be mindful of how it sinks in.

Worry about Providing Too Much or Too Little

We all want our children to live better lives than we did, for them to avoid the hardships we endured, for them to have opportunities we could only dream about. At the same time, it is through the overcoming of such challenges that we learned how to persevere, instilling in us the drive and determination to pursue our goals. We don’t want our kids to suffer, but we don’t want to spoil them either, and finding the right balance between the two can be nerve wracking.

I grew up with very little, and the pain of unfulfilled desire from my younger years is something I want to spare my own children from experiencing. At the same time, I know that they need to learn an appreciation for value, and that giving them what they want instead of teaching them how to earn it could leave them unprepared for the realities of adulthood.

I acknowledge that I have trouble telling my children “no” when they want a ladybug skirt or new packs of play dough, and I am aware that this could result in them feeling entitled to expensive new cars or smart phones when they get older, so I’m working hard to be more resilient and responsible with when I indulge their requests. It’s difficult for me, especially when it reminds me of the longing I went through at their age, but if I want them to grow up strong, then I need to grow stronger as well.